You may already have heard of them: Jareth Nebula is a headshop assistant in the state of New York who identifies as two things, among others: agenderflux and alien.

And even though we’re currently in the finishing stages of 2020 (thank God, by the way), according to their admission, they “have a small tightknit community that supports (their) true identity nowadays,” with emphasis on ‘small.’

For many, even for many of those who in the past supported the affirmation of their identity as a man, their identification as an alien seems to be a bone too hard to chew.

Who is, really, Jareth Nebula, and what do they have to say about being them? What does it mean to be agenderflux? What does it mean to be an alien?

To answer these questions, we did what should be the ordinary course of action: we talked to them.

Hop along as we review ten first-hand facts about them and life as an agenderflux alien in the state of New York.


10 /10 The Word Alien Is An Indicator

Jareth is not crazy: they know (‘they,’ ‘them’ and ‘theirs’ are their preferred pronouns) that they were born on planet Earth. Jareth does not believe that they come from beyond the stars and are not expecting any mothership to come to rescue them.

Being an alien is just the metaphorical way Jareth has to express its disconformity with the common human understanding of gender. According to Jareth:

“It has to do with my disabilities making me feel like I am in a body not made correctly. It has to do with being an outsider during childhood and adolescence. It has to do with the fact that even in the transgender community, I am treated differently. Like I don’t belong.”


9 /10 They Suffer From Enhlers-Danlos Syndrome

A medical condition that, among other things, produces hyperelastic skin and an extreme capacity for moving or twisting your joints, Enhlers-Danlos Syndrome (or EDS) has also meant something else for Jareth: chronic pain, which they treat with weekly visits to the chiropractor, a physical therapist and medicinal cannabis.

Still, this means that Jareth is always, to some degree, experiencing physical discomfort with being in their body.


8 /10 Alien And Agenderflux Go Hand In Hand

For Jareth, being alien and being agenderflux are part of the same otherworldly identity. Being agenderflux means that they mostly identify as agender but will sometimes feel like they have a specific gender sometimes.

Agenderflux people are different from genderfluid. While those can feel like any gender on a given day, agenderflux persons will experience all the spectrum between no gender and, consistently, one specific gender. To Jareth:

“the ‘Alien’ part of my gender is more of an indicator of not wanting to be a part of my human identifiers. It fits alongside the agenderflux identity, and I feel like they are the same, in many ways.”


7 /10 Being Agenderflux In A Gendered World

It’s not easy being agenderflux in a world where many everyday interactions, from buying bread to receiving a client at the barbershop where Jareth works, are still mediated by gender norms.

And though Jared makes it clear that they are “never a girl or anywhere on the feminine side of the spectrum,” many people are still confused by them when they meet them.

In particular, their decision to have their nipples removed has shocked many, even though it’s a way of self-affirmation as valid as the mastectomy that they had during their first transition.


6 /10 They Used To Be A Hyper-Feminine Female

Before affirming their identity as a male at 29 years old, Jareth used to be, according to their description, a “hyper-feminine female,” often participating in activities that are typically female-oriented, like modeling (though they still model today!). After that time, they realized what they believed to be their identity then, as a male.


5 /10 They're Still Masculine, Sometimes...

Even today, Jareth explains that they feel like a male at some point, sometimes. It’s what comes from being agenderflux. Jared explains it this way:

“my complete gender identity is agenderflux/demiboy/alien… I am almost always agender and sometimes demiboy.”

As gender is not an immutable set of categories but a continuum, Jareth can sometimes feel male, and in this, their past transition from female to male is still, to some extent, a part of them. It’s just not the whole story any more.


4 /10 ...But Will Just Go Along With It, Most Of The Time

For many people, Jareth’s transition from female to a male is the only thing that they can fully understand:

“As far as blood family, work and strangers go I typically just accept being seen as a boy because it is partially true. I don’t usually elaborate with people who have biases already.”

It’s understandable why they feel otherworldly since this world often doesn’t make an effort to include them.


3 /10 They Wish That People Would Ask More Questions

“Honestly, I just wish people would ask more questions in general, instead of assuming things constantly and making me out to be a monster. I get a lot of bullies, and most of them have never taken the time to get to know me or even ask me what I’m about,” Jareth says.

Even though they’re open to explaining what it truly means to be them, a genderflux alien in America, “people just take the word ‘alien’ literally and assume I’m insane.”


2 /10 Jareth's Brand: Nebulous Novelties

Partly to generate understanding of their identity and partially put to work their enormously creative side, Jareth has a website running called ‘Nebulous Novelties,’ defined by them as an independent artist brand, where they sell accessories and publish occasional blog entries.

In many ways, artistic expression is a way of expressing themselves as who they are and building bridges with the world for mutual understanding.


1 /10 Alien, And Happy

In the end, Jareth has one thing in common with humans: they look for happiness. And after all the struggles that they have gone through and are still traversing, it’s an absolute comfort to know that they are happy nowadays.

And their happiness, believe or not, is much like that of the rest of us:

“For so long in my life, I was only surviving and not living. Now that I’m living life comfortably, I have finally started to discover happiness in heaps. Happiness and a caring partner. Happiness is in the little things.”

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