Many of us wander through life doing our basic habits such as achieving goals, securing a paycheck, and bonding with our loved ones. However, there is one area that not a lot of people have even come close to scratching its surface and that is finding ourselves. All of us know the basics of our lives such as our age, name, roots, occupation and we might even speculate who or what we will be in the future. However, most of us do not know what we are worth or our values. This is an underrated quality not a lot of people have unfortunately and it prevents them from forming their identity and self-judgment.

Why finding yourself is very important:

Without finding yourself, you risk being vulnerable to what people think of you. If you do not have a strong sense of identity of who you truly are, you won’t be able to have confidence in who you are because you don’t even know who you are in the first place. If someone tells you that you are a bad person for whatever reason, you will perceive that internally as truth because you don’t have anything to defend against it. Thus, without knowing oneself, you will be subject to what people think of you no matter how unjust or harsh it is. These behaviors eventually develop and become even worse later on in life when we need other people’s approval to feel good about ourselves regardless of our achievements. One of the most powerful things you will gain by finding yourself is independent thinking.

How to find yourself:

  • Make peace with your history:

Before you go on in life trying to find yourself, you must first internalize your past and make sense of it. This is a huge step because you need to understand where you come from as a person just like you would want to do when acquiring a new friend.

  • Recognize emotion, act on rational thinking:

We all have emotions such as love, fear, hate, sadness, arrogance, or pride, but we must not let those emotions get the best of us. Our emotions are simply a reaction of what is happening which is why we must be ready to set aside our feelings and use our mind. This is why in every situation, you must first internalize the circumstances, what you are about to do, and how this may affect you in the future. Many of us have said some harsh words we never meant just because we did not take control of our weak fragile feelings.

  • Recognize the monkey in your head:

The talking monkey is a term that refers to the thoughts that try to distract us from achieving a peaceful state of mind when meditating. This is normal because our brains are used to getting bombarded by information and when we try to mediate, those thoughts cling to our consciousness. The talking monkey is always going to criticize us, make fun of what we do, and try to make us think about something, the best way to handle it is to just let it talk and not care, slowly but surely, those thoughts will fade away.

  • Create a peaceful environment:

Many of us thankfully have a physically peaceful environment away from any danger or predators, however, a lot of us have a terrible environment for internal peace. Your home is a place where you can relax from the mundane cyclical behavior, it should not have distractions that seep through your mind such as the media, TV, the neighbors, other people’s thoughts, and other distractions such as physical objects. Creating a zone that allows you to think beyond what you are capable of is one of the best things you can do for your mind.


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